Does a Bear Shit in the Woods?

That's always been the assumption but I bet if I looked in the woods around my house I could answer that question once and for all. That's right, we have a bear. Nick called me at work and told me that he was taking the dogs out at night and saw a bear. We have halogen lights in the back that have motion sensors on them. We always go out there and check for creatures first before taking the dogs out and (thank God) we always keep them close to us. So I guess he checked and everything, he was standing outside with them and he looked up and saw a bear standing about 30 feet away from him! So after he just about crapped his pants, he picked up Minnie and Wolfie (who don't walk as well or listen as well) and told Glynnis to go inside and backed away toward the house. The bear ran into the woods when he started backing away. OK, so he calls me at work and tells me all this. Completely freaks me out. The next night I was at home so we both took them out. As I was watching the side of the house near the driveway I saw the bear run down the entire tree line and into the woods. HOLY SHIT! This is no little bitty bear either. I'm talking about a 250-300 pound bear. No exaggeration! By the way, I forgot to say that the first night was right before garbage day so our can was out by the street and the bear had knocked over the can and pulled garbage out into the woods. Nick cleaned it all up when he saw it the next morning but it just means that he's been roaming all over our property which is 5 acres! OK, so at this point we had to do something about the bear. I named him Barney and then decided that I should only name things that I like so that was pointless. Nick did something a little more productive and called the Florida Wildlife people. He told them about how close the bear got, the garbage episode, our little 10 pound dogs, the fact that we have a 12 month old, etc, etc, etc. And what did the guy on the phone say?! "Well that's what you get for living in bear country" WHAT?! Are you freaking kidding me!? No talk about trapping the bear or anything like that. He said that he would send us a bear package in the mail with a coloring book in it. First of all, my kid just turned 1. She doesn't color yet, you dumb ass. Secondly, do your job and come get this bear out of my yard! I told my friend, Denise, about all this and she couldn't believe it. She said that we practically live in downtown Crawfordville! hahahaha! I'm sorry, anyone who has been to Crawfordville knows that that statement in itself is pretty humerus! We got this "package" the other day and it's a pamphlet and the coloring book that talk all about how lucky we are to live near bears and that we need to appreciate them, blah blah blah. You know what it made me realize? I now know that bears are tied with snakes at the number four spot of things I think should be extinct. They are right below roaches, toads and alligators.

It has now been two weeks since the bear sightings. We haven't had any more issues with our can on garbage day and there's no other sign of him around. We have installed super flood lights that are even brighter then the ones we previously had and Nick brings his gun when we take the dogs out at night, just in case. Let's just all hope that the bear stays away!

Disney and such

I know you have been anxiously awaiting to hear about my exciting life, but you see, I couldn't post anything because for the past week I've been on my deathbed. OK, small exaggeration. It was 5 days with the stomach flu. But Nick told me today that he had never seen me so sick (and he's known me for 16 years, so I was pretty sick). My point...there will be a couple of back to back posts to catch up on what's been happening.

First of all we went to Orlando last weekend to meet up with my parents. It was Katie's birthday so we kicked her out of her apartment and took over for the weekend. She doesn't like her birthday anyways, right Katie?! (Sorry about that) On Saturday we took Alexa to Magic Kingdom. I would put a super cute picture of her smiling and enjoying herself but there isn't one. She wasn't necessarily miserable all day...but I think she didn't know what to make of everything. There were a lot of people there, she met Minnie and Mickey for the first time, she went on a ride, went in the Tiki Room. That's a lot to take in. So her face all day was pretty, well, neutral.See? She just didn't know what to think. Other then her confusion at the large stuffed mice, she had a great weekend! We mainly just hung out, ate, got her pictures taken. Typical stuff that we do. She walked a lot by herself which has started a major walking trend. I decided that I was done counting how many steps she took when a few days ago, I got up to 23. We're just going to go ahead and say that she's walking. But she'll only do it when and where she's comfortable. Which means in her room and outside on the grass. Other places she will hold some one's hand and walk but she won't take those long strolls by herself anywhere else yet.

What else? Oh, her cute and healthy obsession with phones is turning ridiculous. Everything is a phone now and if she sees a phone or someone on a phone she wants it. Oh, and on a related and equally not so cute topic, she now hates the word "no".

One more thing! Alexa started talking!!! Well, kind of. She now says (or kind of says) the following words: Dada, Mama, Rachel (her doll), Jennie (my doll), hi, bye, yeah, ball, doggie, Wolfie (for some reason, Wolfie is 'Wolfie' and the girls are 'doggie'), bottle (have I talked about the weird obsession with water bottles? Who would have ever thought a water bottle could be so entertaining!), and book. OK, so maybe some of them are babbles that just happen to sound kind of like the thing that she's pointing to but whatever, she's close! And the first 8 words she definitely says, for sure. By the way, we are quickly going to change 'yeah' to 'yes'. OK, that's about enough blogging for now, I need to go to sleep. Still recovering from the illness. Seriously! I contemplated going to the ER!!! No joke...

This Week's Adventures

Before I start my real post, I would just like to say happy birthday to Minnie and Glynnis!!! (by the way, I don't know how to spell Glyniss, it's different every time) They turned 11 years old this week, which is crazy. And Minnie told me secretly that she was a little irritated that Alexa was born so close to her birthday. I told her to get over it, I had no control over the situation.

So, Alexa moved into the 1 year old room at day care this week. Big times. It's actually a good thing for her because she's so active and into everything. Now she has a big room to move around in without anyone worrying about her crawling on other babies. The big worry for me was nap time. Hot Stuff still takes two naps a day and is in no hurry to change that any time soon. The 1 year old room only takes one nap a day so you see how that doesn't quite add up. Also, they have nap mats and sleep on their mats on the floor. Lexi is known for her sleepy time acrobatics and generally needs to be contained (you know, in a pack-n-play) for any kind of sleeping activity. So I went to go pick her up yesterday early because I knew that she would be a crazy who couldn't fall asleep on her mat. I walked into the room and she was passed out on her mat on the floor. Her teachers said that she was the first one to fall asleep. She was probably exhausted because she had to stay up until noon! I left and then went back again at 2:15 and she was awake but fussy and clingy so we went home and she took another 2 hour nap in her crib. I usually pick her up early on Mondays and Tuesdays so an extra 2 hour nap in the late afternoon for both of us is just fine with me!

The other thing that has been happening this week is a little girl majorly testing some boundaries. We've already gotten into the temper tantrums where she throws herself around and arches her back and screams. I just put her on the floor and walk away. I tell her that I don't hold arching babies. A few days ago we were all upstairs playing with her tent thing. Here's a picture. It's pretty awesome.

I put up a baby gate at the top of the stairs for obvious reasons but I still didn't want her to touch the gate because I was nervous that it wouldn't be very sturdy. So of course Alexa wanted to touch it and after many "No's" I started to (lightly) slap her hand when I said no. I would like to mention here that she now thinks that the word no is funny and thinks it's a game to do whatever you're telling her not to do. So anyway, after about a minute of that, Nick said that if she touched it again he was going to slap her hand. Well then the drama queen came out. She knelt on the floor holding her hand and crying but she finally stayed away from the gate. For about five minutes. And then she crawled up to it, sat in front of it, looked at me, smiled and smacked her hand onto the gate! Oh my god. I almost had to walk away. If we needed any more confirmation that this is mine and Nick's kid, that was it.

That crazy bitch...Tinkerbell, who did you think I meant?!

I was just searching the internet for a picture of Tinkerbell with a big cross or X through her. You know, to further illustrate for you my dislike. And let me tell you, I have found my people!!! Apparently there is a whole anti-Tinkerbell movement. Well maybe that's a slight exaggeration. But still. There is a facebook page that you could 'like' with a description that says some thing like 'why the obsession with Tinkerbell when she's not even a real princess?!' Exactly!!! I personally think that she is a dirty whore. What? You think this is a family blog?! I talk about boobs here, I think I can use the words dirty whore. Especially when they're true. Seriously, is that the kind of role model you want for your kid?! She steals Minnie's thunder (with all the merchandise they sell with her on it), she hardly has any clothes on and she totally tries to sabotage Peter and Wendy's relationship. Well...maybe not, but still. I'm still not clapping my hands for that bitch! And you can make fun of me for feeling so strongly about a fictional Disney character but I don't really care. One website even cautioned against getting a Tinkerbell tattoo because it's associated with drug use. See, these are the type of people who like Tinkerbell...druggies! By the way, I love Peter Pan, it's one of my favorite Disney movies. I think he was the first red head I've ever loved. Haha. But anyways, it's just that nasty Tinkerbell who I don't like. Hayley told me she was going to save the 3-4 year old ballet Tinkerbell song she has for when Alexa is in her class. I told her that I'd take her out and bring her to the other dance studio. She laughed and thought I was kidding...not so much! Here's a picture of Alexa's princess bath toys with Tink facing the correct way...at the wall.
Hahaha, I hope you've enjoyed my crazy Tinkerbell rantings. This is the craziness that occurs at 5am....two hours left until I get to go home.

Alexa's Birthday Party!!!!

Well, the party event of the century is over. I'm talking about Alexa's first birthday of course. hehehe. We did a bird theme (obviously) with pink and orange and it was super cute. Nick called our house the shrine to Alexa because I pulled out every single picture frame we own and displayed pictures of her first year all over the house. Slightly ridiculous? Sure. But I don't care. I busted out the baking skills and made cupcakes instead of ordering a cake from Publix. Birthdays on a budget...this is how I roll. Plus, the cupcakes are so much easier to serve...no cutting involved...obviously. I used the banner that I made for family vacation and changed out the letters to say "Happy Birthday" and then cut out a bird for each end on my cricut. Oh, and I got those birdhouses at Michael's for $1 each and Nick and I painted them one night. I know, you're jealous of my party planning skills! I wanted to make her a little birdie shirt but mom bought her a 'Birthday Girl' shirt from Target so we just went with that. I did, however, make her a tutu!!!! Definitely one of the easiest things I've ever made. All you do is cut small strips of tulle and tie them around a ribbon. Easy peasy. Lots of family and friends came over to help celebrate and Alexa did great with all the people. I was a little nervous about how she would react to 50 people being in her house because she had been running an off and on fever for a few days before her party. A real fever, it went up to 103.7, so she had been fussy. We had hot dogs and hamburgers plus beans by mom and pasta salad by Carol. Alexa ate her cupcake:Opened her presents:And hung out with her friends:All in all, I think she had a pretty good time. :) She got lots of wonderful presents (did you see the beautiful quilt Aunt Babs made her in the present opening picture?!) but I think she likes this one the best:

Oh! And she finally figured out how to clap her hands. (Yay for milestones she should have met three months ago!!!) And of course now she thinks it's the greatest thing ever and claps every chance she gets. Anyway, the birthday weekend was a success. Carol and George stayed for 4 days (which was great!) but I wish my parents could have stayed longer. Oh well, we are going to see them next weekend in Orlando for a trip to Disney World!!! I can't wait for Alexa to meet the princesses! Speaking of which, have I ever written about my utter dislike for Tinkerbell? That might be worth a post of it's own.