My Genius Idea

When I was in nursing school, one of the books that we had to purchase was a pocket DSM-IV.  For those of you who don't know, the DSM-IV is pretty much a manual for diagnosing mental disorders.  One of my absolute favorite things to do in nursing school was (I'm gonna sound really dorky right now) to try to diagnose every single person I knew with something in that book.  You see, I have a working theory that we all have a little crazy in us.  Whether it's anxiety, depression, a mood disorder, psychosis...everyone has a little chemical imbalance.  Nobody's brain is perfect.  (Please do not take this in any way as down-playing any kind of mental illness.  The diseases described in the DSM-IV are just that, diseases.  They are, most of the time, chronic illnesses that, like any other chronic illness ex: diabetes, asthma, etc., require life long treatment.  Sorry.  That was Nurse Kristin talking.  I felt the need to make a disclaimer.)  So, I found great entertainment in trying to figure out what certain people had.  As you can imagine, some people were super easy to attach many different diagnosis to.  While others proved to be a little more difficult.

So, I had a moment of genius at work a few weeks ago.  I was talking to my friend, Crystal (who happens to be just as awkward as I am, but in different ways, so I find that my personal craziness is free to come out a little bit more when I'm around her), and I decided that the world would be a much better place if everyone had an idea about everyone else's little quirks.  Medical alert bracelets have saved lives!  It's a quick and easy way to know if someone has a chronic illness.  Wouldn't it be awesome to have a similar thing for mental illnesses?!  OK, I know that sounds kind of crazy in itself, but before you start jumping to conclusions, hear me out.  You know that person in your life who is a little bit different?  He/she is probably one of the nicest people you know but sometimes he says some strange things, or maybe people just don't get him.  Or maybe, he might seem completely appropriate on the outside but you know (because you're such an awesome friend) that he's really hurting on the inside.  And sometimes people treat him badly or look at him strange or roll their eyes at him or something like that, and that really makes you mad because you know how super cool he really is if they would just look past the quirky stuff.  Raise your hand if you know that person.  Good.  Now raise your hand if that person is you.  Very good.  Acceptance is the first step (well, maybe not the first step, but it's one of those steps).   Now, think about your "friend" again (Notice that "friend" is now in quotations.  This is because we have already established that this "friend" is really you.).  You don't do any of those negative things to him (partially) because you have insight into why he says what he says (or how he says it, or how he acts...you get the picture).

Now, keeping all of that in mind, do you remember name plates?  Here's a picture:

How wonderful would it be if everyone had a nameplate necklace but instead of having their name on it, they had their diagnosis!  Again, give it a chance.  It's just a way for other people to understand where you're coming from.  And if you have more than one diagnosis, you can have links down between each one.  Or, if you choose, you can group them all together.  For example, my dad's would say simply "head trauma".  Enough said!  So when he starts being loud and boisterous and trying to make friends with every person he comes in contact with...or even when he starts talking to someone about the red light cameras or the express lane on 95 in Miami, the person he's talking to can just casually glance down, see that he's had a head trauma and just go with it!  I would be one of those people with multiple links, but I don't have to have them all.  Mine would say "social anxiety" and then below it would be "OCD".  (Reality really strikes home with that one when your three year old tells your husband "No, Daddy, that doesn't go there.  The castle princesses go in the light pink bin and the other princesses go in the dark pink bin and the princess dress up stuff goes in the pink cloth bin".  It all makes perfect sense to me.)  Anyway, back to my personal nameplates.  Whenever I say something strange or awkward or whenever I have the inability to say anything at all, people will understand why.  Now you kind of want one, don't you?!

Another disclaimer:  I realize all of the political crap that would go along with this.  And yes, I would be super mad if we were all forced to wear our psychiatric misgivings on our chest for all the world to see.  But if you're reading this, you should already know that you can't take half of what I say seriously.  But, you have to admit that the whole nameplate thing would be extremely useful...and entertaining!