toothbrush

Oh, that moment when you just realized you did a superb, top notch tooth brushing with...your husband's toothbrush.  And even though you have known him for more than half your life and you've been married for 7 years, you're pretty grossed out.  :/

That, together with the bath I just had to give Glyniss because she had diarrhea stuck to her butt really makes me want to go back to bed and start today over.  Oh well, off to work (hopefully to witness some more miracles like last night!).

Ballerina Roach

You know how I hate roaches? No? Well, I do. They're horrible and are on my list of the top three things which should become extinct (along with alligators and toads). For my whole life they have been out to get me. I am not kidding. I have distinct memories of playing in the living room at my parents house right after we moved in (I was 5) and pulling a dead roach out of the shag carpeting. (I realize that one was dead and could not possibly be out to get me, but still) They have crawled across my arm when I was working at my dad's shop in Miami. They have tried to attack me in my house. I have even witnessed a flying roach fly down my mom's shirt (which, I'm not gonna lie, was half terrifying and half hilarious). Usually, when I see them, I run for cover and scream at someone else to go kill it. Once, I was laying in my bed, saw a roach on the opposite wall, and instead of killing it, I pulled the blanket over my head and called Nick (who was in the other room) on my phone to come and get rid of it. I think I have made my point.

So, a couple of weeks ago (it has actually taken that long for me to talk about this) I was at work giving report to the oncoming nurse. Now, let's remember that it was 7am, I had been at work for 12 hours and I was pretty much delirious with no filter. OK, so we were standing outside the patient's room when the day shift nurse, let's call her Betsy, casually said to me "oh, look at that little roach running". What?! How can you even speak that sentence no nonchalantly?! And, little roach? Oh no, that thing was a freaking monster! And you bet your ass it was running...right toward me! Plus, it was running and barely touching the floor! It's like the thing was running on pointe. It was freaking ballerina roach in attack mode coming to get me!!! What do I do? Of course I jump around screaming "kill it, Betsy, kill it!!!!" (Which is what every PICU patient and family want to hear at 7am, I'm sure.) I tried to move laterally and what does the roach do? Turn toward me. It can sense my fear. Finally, after 3 stomps (3 stomps!!!) Betsy killed the roach and then kicked it under the counter thing of the nurses station (where, I'm sure it was regenerating and planning it's next move). Meanwhile, all the other night and day shift nurses are at the nurses station either looking at me like I'm crazy or hysterically laughing at me. I, of course, announce that I'm having palpitations and that I needed to finish giving report on the other side of the unit because I really feel that the roach is going to come back from the dead and attack me again. Seriously.

I know that I live in Florida and that means that there are roaches everywhere. I also realize (in the rational part of my brain) that the roach really can't hurt me and that my fear would be better placed on even something like a bee or a wasp where there is a small but real potential for harm. But I don't care. Bees and wasps don't freak me out. I have no problem killing spiders or any other kind of bug that gets into the house, and I'll pick up lizards and put them back outside without even squirming. But for some reason, I can't handle a roach. I think we should kill them all.

A Talking Fool

Do you know how Alexa hadn't been saying many words?  Did I even write about that?  She always understood and followed directions, and when she started talking she had a pretty long list of words... and then she lost them.  Her list went from 10 words to 3 words and stayed there for months.  Our pediatrician said it was OK but it still made me a little nervous.  Well, I guess she has been saving it all up or something because now she is a talking fool!  I thought about writing down a list of all the words she says but I don't know that I could remember them all.  Maybe I'll follow her around with a pad of paper and a pen one day just to catch everything that she says.  She's even putting words together and she said a three word sentence the other day!  (I know what your thinking: "I say three word sentences all the time, what's the big deal?!"  Well, congratulations, but unfortunately you aren't my kid so I really don't care.)  When my in-laws were over two weekends ago she said "I see you!"  So cute.

So my mom came up last weekend and I was pretty excited for her to hear Alexa talking.  We were in a store with Alexa in the cart and all of a sudden Lexi says (very loudly) "I go poopy!"  She had farted.  So her first official sentence was "I see you" (common, typical toddler talk) and her second official sentence was "I go poopy" (common, typical Kristin talk).  Perfect. Oh, and she still doesn't say 'Mommy' or 'mama' or 'ma' or 'mom' or anything remotely close to any of that.  To Alexa, I am known as "ugh".  And she says plenty of other things that start with M so that's not the problem either.  If you ask her where mommy is she will (usually) point to me, which, I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty excited about.  She just started that a month or two ago.  Before she would either point to Nick or sit there looking confused.  And if you ask her to say the word 'mommy' she will say "omie" and then walk away.  No worries, Alexa.  I'm just the one who birthed you and all that.  I'm just the crazy curly haired chick who dances and sings around the house and won't leave you alone.  It's cool.  You know, she says 'Daddy' with no problem (and 'dada' and 'dad' too).  I bet they practice on the nights that I work.  It's a conspiracy.  Anyway, my mom thinks that this whole not saying mommy thing is hilarious so what does she do this past weekend?  Oh, I'm glad you asked.  She taught my daughter that my name was not 'Mommy'...it's 'Kristin'.  The whole weekend she was asking Alexa where Kristin is and to bring  this to Kristin.  Lexi hasn't called me Kristin yet, but I'm sure it's coming.  Although I suppose 'Kristin' is better then 'ugh' or 'hey you' (which, I'm sure is coming up).  Oh well, she will say mommy eventually, I suppose.  She can't live her whole life calling me 'ugh', right?

Oh!  Want more evidence that Alexa is my little clone baby?  (in an awkward, we do weird things and think it's hilarious kind of a way)  This is a picture of our new way to kiss:

It's pretty much an open mouthed touching of the top lips.  

We think it's hilarious. (Please excuse the chin fat.  I need chin-o-suction.  It's lipo for the chin - in case you didn't get that.  Oh, and an extraction of my extra eye skin.  It was really full force this day.  Obviously.)

Update

So after searching through all of mine and my mom's pictures on Kodakgallery, I found this one:

 Which was taken four years ago.  And yes, it's the most recent picture of me.  Can we also all appreciate the beach scene?!?!?!  Although this one is a much more accurate representation of that weekend (you totally wish you were part of my family):

The Bulletin Board

OK, so they have this bulletin board at work where they talk about the staff.  There's a little paragraph or two about where the nurse/secretary/PCA grew up, went to school, hobbies, why you like working in Peds, etc.  And then each person has a picture by their little summary thing.  (Well, most people have a picture.  There's one picture that makes me feel slightly uncomfortable and another one that has a picture of the beach...no person, just the beach.)  This board is right in the middle of a wall between Peds and the PICU so it's there for everyone (patients, families, everyone) to see.  When asked the "why do you like working in pediatrics?" question, every one's answer is something like "I love working with kids" or "my coworkers are great and I love the kids" or "little kids are so sweet and innocent" or "any time I can get even a small smile out of a child, it makes my day."  (yes, I got up just now to make sure that I got that all right)  Anyway, so I was joking around last weekend about how they would never put me up on that wall because they'd be afraid of how I would answer the questions.  For example, if asked why I enjoyed working in pediatrics, I would answer that, given the choice, I'd much rather clean up baby poop than adult poop.  Now, that's an honest answer.  Well, now wouldn't you know that on Monday morning, one of the leadership people asked if she could interview me for the board?!?!  First of all, this person works day shift in the out patient area so I have spoken to her a total of about 2 times (including my little 'interview').  And I'm about 99% sure that she asked about me (mostly who I was, but also if I was married, had kids, etc) before this so called interview.  I have my sources.  Anyway, she interviewed me at7 in the morning after I had just worked all night (without much sleep the day before) and was exhausted so the filter was way off.  Plus, she asked me all these questions in the middle of the nurses station with both the night shift and oncoming day shift nurses (who I happen to really like) there so I felt the need to make small comments after each of my answers.  For example, when asked where I grew up I answered "Hollywood, Florida" and then proceeded to do a single handed raising of the roof while singing in my ghetto voice "Holly-hood!"  See?  Filter off.  I couldn't help myself.  It was my musical turrets.  It's hereditary, right Katie?  I think I did OK with the middle questions about school and stuff.  I told her about how I danced in a company in college and how I teach now.  I talked about competition but I don't think she really got it.  Then came the question I was waiting for!  She asked me why I enjoyed working in peds and I answered, without hesitation, that given the choice, I'd much rather clean up baby poop than adult poop.  She stared at me.  Courtney and Catherine laughed.  She asked me what I wanted the board to say and I told her to write something about how kids are wonderful and I work with awesome people but right as I was answering, Courtney said "no, she said the poop thing, that's what you should write!"  Then Courtney (she used to work night shift) said that I was really funny so my interviewer wrote on her paper "funny".  So, needless to say, I'm pretty excited for the new board to come out.  Oh, and she also asked me to email her a picture of myself and tonight, as I was looking for one, I discovered that there are none.  At least none in the past four or five years where I don't look like a complete idiot.  Most of the recent pictures of me include Alexa:

 Or, they are of Katie and I acting like a bunch of fools:

 Or, Katie and I trying to be pretty (while wearing other people's mickey hats...sorry Lauren):

 Or, we take pictures to bring attention to serious issues.  For example, this picture, which clearly demonstrates the many dangers of under aged driving:

 There is the random picture of me posing with objects (not shown is me with flowers (which happen to be a great example of my best friend's wedding colors), me with random pieces of food and me with various Christmas presents...I like the croquet mallet picture the best):

 And then there is this one, which I still consider to be one of my finest moments and pretty much the best picture ever taken (slight exaggeration):

In conclusion, I have decided that my little personal summary thing is either going to be highly offensive to others or an extreme misrepresentation of me.  It could go either way.  Oh, and also, I need to have her take a picture of me because I don't think they will approve of my options and I refuse to have a random beach scene as my photo.